1 week into the summer holidays and I’m exhausted trying to keep my son entertained (away from his computer for a reasonable time each day) juggling work, the extra housework and washing up. All whilst trying to make the summer break fun, and in tropical temperatures! I am beat!
Consensus is, we rest when the work is done. But the work never ends! I keep telling myself I’ll sit down for an hour after I done the breakfast dishes, hoovered round and nipped the supermarket. Only to come home and do the anonymous (and needless) pile of more dishes and clean up the Nesquik powder that’s appeared all over my clean kitchen. Wait, these plants need watering and those emails really can’t wait. Now the washing machine’s ready to be emptied again! Before I know it It’s after 9pm and only just cool enough to walk the dog.
Maybe I’ll find some time to rest tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow I’ll allow myself rest I don’t have to over qualify for.
You expect chaos when you have a new baby, but nothing ever prepared me for the never ending busyness augmented by the school holidays. Sensing that we’re all chasing our tails, adjusting to a new pace of life (once again) and have zero time for anything other than work, parenting and housework. I asked some of my friends if they struggle to prioritise self care (and I’m talking about basic human needs here, not a facemark in the bath).
“Like, what is a hairbrush? I don’t find any time for myself at all as a mum! And when I do ,oh the guilt!! It’s crippling!!’
“I’ve been rigorously checking everyone has enough suncream on all day, only to forget to apply myself!”
“Having a ball booted at my head while I try to do a workout is no fun!”
“I prioritise the kids and my husband first and then I’m too knackered to think about myself”
It’s easy to wait until you’re at breaking point before taking a break by taking today’s chores off your list. Because lets face it, they only pile up for tomorrow.
Even if we mange self care, fitting in regular exercise and healthy diet seems like a stretch too far, and its the first thing we sacrifice in busy times. Now I’m acutely aware that if we all exercised and ate a healthy diet as a priority, we would have more energy to crack on with the day to day. That we need rest to be able to function well. And I’ve had enough therapy to know that I can make myself happy by checking off my list of essential self care needs. But we’re all still struggling to find the time.
Here’s 5 ways to prioritise self care
Schedule time
You may battle with feelings of selfishness at first. But if you live in your iPhone calendar like I do, then ideally you should block out a few hours each day simply to do nothing. I’m currently living with the mistake of booking back to back appointments and meetings amongst my deadlines, and feeling the burnout! Lesson well and truly learned.
Utilise childcare
Be it your co-parent, family member or a friend from school. It’s ok to arrange childcare without a list of things to do before they get home. There is so much beauty in simply not having to jump out of bed the moment you open your eyes and do something for someone else in the morning!
Book a staycation
Even if you can’t get away. Book a week off work, or block out a few days so you’re completely work free. Sit in the back garden/park and Deliveroo every meal. You deserve it!
Make space for creativity & spontanaity
It can be hard not to plan out all your free time in an attempt to utilise it fully. But blocking off a weekend with zero plans leaves space for last minute catch ups with friends you wouldn’t usually see, in places you wouldn’t usually go. It’s so refreshing.
Say no.
One of my favourite phrases is “I don’t have the capacity for that at the moment.” its a one way ticket out of anything. No reason, no justifying, just no!
Don’t run yourself into the ground trying to make everyone else happy this summer. Frankly, its a thankless task.
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