You are enough! Slow down. You don’t need to prove to anyone that you’ve got a grip on this colossal life change straight away. You’re learning. Getting to know each other, and you’re going to be amazing together. In time.
He’s not going to sleep, ever! So the sooner you get your tired little head around that the better. Don’t try all those things the internet tells you to try. Just give up. Accept it. And when people ask, just smile and say “no, he doesn’t sleep in his own room. He sleeps with me, and will do so until he’s about 6.” Honestly, you could have such piece of mind.
Don’t spend loads of money on your perfect nursery set from Mamas and Papas, including every single soft furnishing from their Hodge Podge range (because you think he’s going to be ginger.) He’s never going to go in there. You’ll see! Instead, spend that money on a ginormous bed, so the sleep you do get can be as comfortable as possible.
Rest. When the baby gets up at 4am after going to sleep at midnight, his 7am nap is not time for you to take 2 pro plus and clean the house frantically, so that you can convince yourself (and appear to others) that you have your S**t together. Literally no-one cares.
The above is the first of a string of lies that you’ll tell yourself to avoid the truth that you’re not coping. And actually, you really need some antidepressants.
It’s more common thank you think to feel numb, lonely and breathtakingly sad. But it’s not normal. So speak up and get help, ASAP! It will be years before you feel like yourself again. But you will emerge! One day you’ll feel a wave of genuine happiness, out of nowhere, and it will be so beautiful.
Post natal depression with forge a version of you so strong and resilient you’ll inspire yourself! And you’ll be so so happy. Happier than you’ve ever been! And nothing will ever be able to take that away from you again.
SSRI’s are actually really amazing, helpful things. If your doctor says you need them, you should give them a go, for sure.
Stop that 5am ironing! In fact, threw that iron out the window. By 2021, ironing will be considered completely unnecessary anyway.
Teaching your 3 month old baby to swim under water isn’t really an essential skill you need to be paying £150 a term for. It’s actually really hard to make sure they’ve slept and ate enough to be in the mood for a swimming lesson at a specific time each week. You’d be better of taking him swimming occasionally, when he’s in the mood. And when you can take someone else with you. Because trying to dress yourself and your baby in a swimming baths changing room before the ticket on you car runs out, isn’t a challenge even Bear Grylls’ would enjoy!
Your baby doesn’t need any certificates, or to show signs of being a genius of some sort. It’s ok for him to just be a completely normal baby.
Reduce your hours to part time. Life is way to short to spend his first few years feeling guilty about his long hours in nursery, whilst also stressing about paying for nursery and guilty you can’t give 100% to your work because you’re running on fumes. Give yourself a break! You won’t realise this until he’s 12 and it will be one of your biggest regrets.
Don’t let him try karate! That vision of a grown man kneeling on a community hall floor, the soles of his feet thick with black dirt, will turn your stomach for life!
Babe, that dragging feeling is a prolapse. You’re gonna need to go into hospital and get that fixed. Sooner the better! No one is going to talk about this because its 2009 and the conversation about mental health and womens health is still massively hush hush. Instead of sucking it up and getting on with it. You’d be better talking about it on the Internet. You could create a supportive community that helps thousands of women, also mortified at the difference in their bodies after childbirth.
Don’t worry about becoming a single mum. You’ll have more fun doing it on your own, anyway. Honestly, don’t waste even a second feeling bad about it. It’s gonna be amazing!
You’re going to feel utterly compelled to make cakes from those little box sets in Tesco. Don’t. You’re crap at making cakes. And when they come out all flat inter-baked, he’s going to cry. Buckets! Just buy cakes.
Your not going to see much representation in the media about single mums, especially not in a positive way. But that doesn’t matter. You’re allowed to enjoy it and have fun with it anyway.
If you were a man they’d be all “how does he do it?!” “Omg how adorable!” But instead you’ll be “just another washed up single mum” who cares! Anyone who thinks that probably hasn’t kissed a woman in years!
Just relax and have fun with it. Nothing matters. Not a single thing you’re going to worry about actually matters.
Don’t stress about schools, especially. He’s never going to end up going anyway because of a global pandemic. Honestly! I know you won’t believe me but it’s gets pretty mad!
Just be kind to yourself. You love him and you should love yourself. You’re doing your best and that’s more than enough.
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