I’ve always wanted to go to Japan and we were planning to. But after my boyfriend moved out while I was a work. (You heard)! I thought that dream was out the window.
After having a few very awful, very public, breakdowns at work. That resulted in a complementary course of corporate counselling. I started dissecting our life together.
Luckily, James Ward off of Hope Street, reminded me that I am a bad ass bitch who’s capable of anything! 💪🏻 So if not Japan now, then when?
So I bought some flights.
I had a lot of abandonment issues to work through. (Childhood and present). But even though I’d committed to this mad trip, there were these little voices in my hair, telling me that this isn’t the way that other people grow though things.
But, personal growth is supposed to be personal, no?
I had flights for me and Sonny, to Tokyo and back from Osaka. Mainly, so I had something to focus on. But most importantly, so I had something to look forward to.
As May approached, I started to panic.
Other mothers don’t do this!! This is too bold. Too big. Too obnoxious! But, I’m a big bold, obnoxious believer, that you can be any fucking thing you want to be.
So I had the flights, and had to start to think about how I was gonna make the rest work. Very reluctantly, I had to look objectively at the money I spend and how I live my life. And swallow the harsh realisation, that there is not one thing on my calander or bank statement, that isn’t down to me. It’s all me.
That’s a big fucking pill to swallow, girls!
So, I write this, as I’m here, having a ball. And that’s the only reason, I think, that I’m comfortable to do so. Thinking back to 6 months ago when I was in therapy. I truly thought my life was falling apart.
But we’re here! And I can’t tell you how happy I am, or how proud I am of myself.
Japan is so different from Liverpool. Tokyo isn’t drowning in cocaine. Teenagers and adults are simply enjoying tea, karaoke and their lives (while looking fucking fabulous) and it’s really attractive.
This is honestly the first holiday I’ve been on where my fella hasn’t been doing my head in. Or if single, I hadn’t secretly been pining for someone the entire time.
I’m in love with absolutely no one, but me and Sonny. And I’m loving it.
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